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Today I have
- Washed, dried, folded & fluffed (ha ha ha do you really believe that?) about 200 loads of laundry. Really. That’s not an exaggeration.
- Wondered how such relatively CLEAN children can make thier clothes SMELL so BAD.
- Changed roughly 30 (million) dirty diapers.
- Wondered WHY they have to be SO much like thier daddy in *that respect. Maybe HE should be the official diaper changer.
- Listened to Thing 1 describe ~in detail~ his latest story creation. Life in Snotland. Complete with illustrations. And maps. “Daddy lives on booger lane, where do you want to live?” As far away from there as possible.
- Wondered if there is a way to somehow count this little project as ’school’.
- Kissed thousands of boo boo’s. Real & imagined.
- Yet, when Thing 4 smacked his head (hard enough for me to HEAR the Whomp) and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss it he just said “No it’s good ma” and continued on with his little 2 yr old life.
- Wondered when my love for my children overcame my complete disgust for all feets.
- Watched Thing 5 make faces in the mirror.
- Wondered how long the “playin with the pretty baby in the mirror” game would actually be entertaining.
- 47 minutes. Yes the child looked at herself in the mirror for forty seven minutes.
- Aaaand we watched her the entire time.
- Yes we have no life.
- We started out with nothing.
- And we still have a little left.
- Listened to Thing 1 tell the very vivid (& unfortunately true) story of how he and the biggest Thing of them all caught a dead cat while fishing the day before.
- Apparently it was SO cool.
- But only because it was already dead.
- Wondered if the entourage of pets that have lived & died during thier time with our children, has emotionally scarred & completely desensitized my child.
- Was actually thankful to find out that he cried when they caught it.
- Felt bad for being happy about a crying child. Still a little happy to know we can skip the years of therapy.
- Would have skipped the therapy anyway. We have daily therapy sessions on our knees.
- Wiped snotty noses 400 times.
- Once with my shirt.
- Wondered if the snotland story was based on actual facts.
- Decided to change my layout AGAIN.
- Wondered if I really *do have multiple personalities.
- Started to write a post about the layout changes.
- Wondered why I was trying to rationalize blog background decisions to an inanimate object.
- Skipped the post and ate some chocolate instead.
But if you happened to notice the changes, and are curious, I HAD to change it. It was a chocolate beach. I thought that was really cool. 2 of my favorite non *Thing things. BUT then I realized that since having that background, I was not eating chocolate. And I like chocolate. Alot. So, you see, I had no choice.
*** Edited ~ Thing 1 has brought it to my attention, that the reference to booger lane was incorrect. It is actually booger pit road. And his dad not only resides there, he is the king of snotville … er snotland. Thing 1 has very *graciously forgiven me for this error. According to him I am not expected to really understand such complex ideas. Thank God for that. I was having quite a hard time wrapping my tiny little brain around such a big thought. ROFL
Do you remember Romper Room? Sometimes it seems as if I’m in an episode of, like, Romper Room Gone Wild or something. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s just me.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we had that Average~2.5 kids~2 income~house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog that doesn’t… relieve itself on the hardwood floors~American Dream kind of life.
Would I have *perfect hair? And manicured nails? Oooohhhh, I would definently pay someone ELSE to spray all of that SHOUT on the stains in the laundry. (SHOUT really works ya know. Just in case you were wondering. That is why you come here.. isn’t it? For all of the great laundry tips:)
Sometimes, I use an entire bottle of SHOUT on 1 load of laundry. Fascinating right? I know, that’s why I’m telling you. You don’t have to thank me.
We don’t, by the way. Have that life that is. Not even a little bit on a good day. Double the kids. Split the income in half. The dog, well… we gave up on pets when a~certain~little~girl~who~was~3 (but is no longer) decided to try and help her cute little pet chickie escape from the cage. According to her, little chickie stuck his head out of the bars and asked her to help him out. By his head unfortunately. It wasn’t pretty. Yes, we were all scarred, but we try not to think about it. Don’t worry. After 3 yrs of therapy we can now eat chicken again.
My hair… is not quite perfect. Okay it’s nowhere near perfect, but if it makes you feel better to think that it might be close, then go right ahead! It surely does make me feel better:) But I’ll be honest and admit that my most used hair accessories include a scrunchee (the fact that if a scrunchee isn’t available a pencil can also be used is just more proof that I keep up with all of the latest fashions from Vogue. ) OH and there’s this AWESOME hair product I use. If you’ve never tried it then you’re definently missing out. It’s called D.R.O.O.L. Made from pure baby slobber. Great stuff. Really.
But then I remember that in order to have that life I would have to give up 2.5 of my children. How could I make my child go through life with only half of thier body? And which half would I choose? The right, the left. The top, the bottom.
The truth is, as CRAAAZZYYYY as they make me sometimes, I couldn’t really give any of them up. Even for that oh~so~wanted laundry person.
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Can ya blame me???
Enjoy yours tonight!
- I LOVE IT!! Makes me want to go have another baby right now, okay maybe not exactly right now but again. I just recently discovered stain remover, well the benefit of actually using them anyway. Can’t remember which one I bought though. Oh and if you did have to choose a half I hope you would choose the top because legs just walking around would be a little creepy.
- P.S. I really like your new template – makes me want to change mine again but I’m not even gonna go there.
- ROFL i wasn’t going to change it but…it was a CHOCOLATE beach. I had to.
I think you’re right about the top half. No more DIAPERS wooohoooo.
5 Comments:
Blessings!
Heather
When i read the part about ‘thing 5′ making faces at herself in the mirror i started cracking up ! Cause i thought about when you me and mama were sitting outside. …. when was it ? Friday ? Yeah and she just randomly started making faces in the mirror .
Snotland …. or road or what ever it is called sounds ….ummm….interesting … lol
i love your kids :]