To school or not to school…..

I put the kids in school last year.

I know.

Don’t bad mommy me.

It was a VERY hard decision to make.

I was writing my own curriculum for 3 schoolagers.

In 3 different grades.

And a preschooler.

I was pregnant.

And very TiReD.

I was chasing a very active toddler

And an extremely hyper preschooler.

There was SO much going on at the time ~ you have NO idea what we went through the past 14 months ~ and

I. Just. Couldn’t. Do. It.

I admit it.

I am not *Supermom.

So I prayed and I prayed because I couldn’t just hand my little *things over to the Fla public schools.

That would have been the equivalent of throwing them into the *Lions Den.

And yes, I know Daniel made it out just fine.…

but it’s not like his mom is the one who tossed him in there!

So I was led to a charter school. Actually a Montessori Academy which fit them perfectly coming from a fairly laid back and self directed homeschooling enviroment.

It’ technically a public school, BUT because it’s a charter school it’s run like a private school.

Which we could NEVER afford with 6 kiddos.

There are only 16 (or less) kids in each class.

And,

imagine my shock (and joy) when I found out they actually PRAY *in school.

Yes they do.

But I still felt really really guilty.

Like maybe,

just maybe,

I had failed.

My children.

And my God.

And that I was definently not the *good mommy that I thought I was.

And that I try SO hard to be.

Then I read this book, about the life of Paul.

How EVERY detail of his life

(his birthright, his citizenship, his parents sending him to study under Gamaliel)

was specifically planned the way it was for him to fulfill his purpose.

And I realized that it was OK if *I wasn’t the one who taught my children math. Or science. Or geography.

Because *I am still teaching them the most important things of all.

WHATEVER

Remind me not to make fun of Thing 1’s stories anymore. I think Adventures in Snotland was actually a prophecy.

Except it hasn’t really been an adventure…more like a jungle safari gone really really bad. I thought the story was over. Apparently there are a few *surprise endings.

I don’t really like surprises.

Any of ya’ll pray? If ya do, & you happen to be reading this, could you do me a little favor? Could you just say a little prayer for my Mom.

I’m a firm believer in hitting my knees (instead of the Dr’s office & the pills) when we get sick or hurt. Don’t get me wrong. When in labor, I’m all about the spinal block & the demoral. I’ve had 3 c~sections. I don’t believe that surgery is evil. And as some of you *may already know, I believe in the power of nyquil when ya just feel like crap. Or atleast, the power of nyquil to knock you out so you sleep through most of it.

But as far as actual healing (as opposed to the fleshy feeling better/ comfort stuff) goes… I go to the great physician exclusively.

My philosophy is that if I don’t go to the doctor, then my faith is strong enough that I don’t really need to know exactly whats wrong & I just ‘pray it away’. God is good & all is well. I know that might not make much sense to some, well most, of you, but this has worked for me all of my life. It’s almost like ‘if I get diagnosed with it then it will define me’. And that’s the way it will be. And that’s what my life will be about. Not that there is anything to diagnose. But if there was. That’s probably how it would be.

My family’s (as in mom, dad, sister, nieces) faith is a little different. Not worse. Not better. Just different. That’s okay too. They have faith that if they go to the Dr. when they are sick, that God will use that Dr. or medicine or whatever the treatment is… to heal them. Aaaand that works for them. God is still good & all is well.

So in light of that, I took my mom to the Dr. yesterday. My dad was out of town at a seminar. My sister does not handle emergencies/sickness/basically anything that could possibly involve someone NOT being okay, well.

I’m the one who convinced my mom to go. Everyone’s been SO sick lately. We were worried it might turn into pneumonia. Seriously, I thought we would go to the Dr. (who I used to work for when I was nursing *before other Things took priority & he is very close to our family) & he would give her a shot of cortisone & a script for antibiotics. You’ll feel better in a few days. Come see me next week.

She was off balance & the only way I can describe it accurately is that she was stumbling around like she had had a few too many. He takes one look at her & sends us to the er. She doesn’t want to go. She doesn’t want them to tell her she has to stay. I told her I can’t see any reason why she would have to stay.

SO guess what they tell her? She has to stay. Her WBC is way high. And she has an on again/off again fever.

I know she’ll be okay…but I can’t help but think I should have just let her sleep on the couch like she wanted to do in the 1st place. That’s what I would have done if it had been me instead of her…..

2 Comments:

Rebecca said…

Sorry I’ve been a little MIA around this blogosphere. Things have been a little busy for me. I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I don’t think you did anything wrong in taking your mom to the doctor. Prayer doesn’t stop working when we are in the hospital. And sometimes the Lord does use medicine for healing. I will pray for her health to be restored and who knows, it may turn out to be a testimony of God’s healing power to someone in that hospital who didn’t know that He does heal.

Friday, April 27, 2007 5:23:00 PM EDT

Heather said…

Well that’s a much better way to look at it;) ty girlie.

Saturday, April 28, 2007 3:34:00 AM EDT

Oh I wonder… wonder ~ is it bedtime yet?

Today I have

1. Washed, dried, folded & fluffed (ha ha ha do you really believe that?) about 200 loads of laundry. Really. That’s not an exaggeration.
2. Wondered how such relatively CLEAN children can make thier clothes SMELL so BAD.
3. Changed roughly 30 (million) dirty diapers.
4. Wondered WHY they have to be SO much like thier daddy in *that respect. Maybe HE should be the official diaper changer.
5. Listened to Thing 1 describe ~in detail~ his latest story creation. Life in Snotland. Complete with illustrations. And maps. “Daddy lives on booger lane, where do you want to live?” As far away from there as possible.
6. Wondered if there is a way to somehow count this little project as ’school’.
7. Kissed thousands of boo boo’s. Real & imagined.
8. Yet, when Thing 4 smacked his head (hard enough for me to HEAR the Whomp) and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss it he just said “No it’s good ma” and continued on with his little 2 yr old life.
9. Wondered when my love for my children overcame my complete disgust for all feets.
10. Watched Thing 5 make faces in the mirror.
11. Wondered how long the “playin with the pretty baby in the mirror” game would actually be entertaining.
12. 47 minutes. Yes the child looked at herself in the mirror for forty seven minutes.
13. Aaaand we watched her the entire time.
14. Yes we have no life.
15. We started out with nothing.
16. And we still have a little left.
17. Listened to Thing 1 tell the very vivid (& unfortunately true) story of how he and the biggest Thing of them all caught a dead cat while fishing the day before.
18. Apparently it was SO cool.
19. But only because it was already dead.
20. Wondered if the entourage of pets that have lived & died during thier time with our children, has emotionally scarred & completely desensitized my child.
21. Was actually thankful to find out that he cried when they caught it.
22. Felt bad for being happy about a crying child. Still a little happy to know we can skip the years of therapy.
23. Would have skipped the therapy anyway. We have daily therapy sessions on our knees.
24. Wiped snotty noses 400 times.
25. Once with my shirt.
26. Wondered if the snotland story was based on actual facts.
27. Decided to change my layout AGAIN.
28. Wondered if I really *do have multiple personalities.
29. Started to write a post about the layout changes.
30. Wondered why I was trying to rationalize blog background decisions to an inanimate object.
31. Skipped the post and ate some chocolate instead.

But if you happened to notice the changes, and are curious, I HAD to change it. It was a chocolate beach. I thought that was really cool. 2 of my favorite non *Thing things. BUT then I realized that since having that background, I was not eating chocolate. And I like chocolate. Alot. So, you see, I had no choice.

*** Edited ~ Thing 1 has brought it to my attention, that the reference to booger lane was incorrect. It is actually booger pit road. And his dad not only resides there, he is the king of snotville … er snotland. Thing 1 has very *graciously forgiven me for this error. According to him I am not expected to really understand such complex ideas. Thank God for that. I was having quite a hard time wrapping my tiny little brain around such a big thought. ROFL