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Have you ever seen that movie Bruce Almighty? It’s not new or anything. And I haven’t seen it recently. I’m not really sure why I was even thinking about it. SO…we’ll just…come back to this later. When I actually have something to say about it. Sound good? Good!

You wanna know what drives me crazy about trying to tell ya’ll stuff sometimes? Words just don’t look the way I say them. like, how often do you talk like this? Where every word is just clipped off neatly at the end. NO emphasis. No pronunciation. It’s just …wierd. Ooooor maybe it’s just me? No. You’re supposed to say NO.

I was thinking about when Thing 1 ~9yob~ was like 2. Closer to 3. But still 2. He has always been SO self reliant. He can & wants to do everything for himself. This was an extremely annoying trait to me when he was my only *baby. When I had all the time in the world ~ or atleast all the time in the day ~ to cater to his every little desire. But now, that there are 4 more not~so~self~reliant..make that 5 more, I am singin the hallelujah chorus.

I have a point. I just haven’t gotten you to it yet. Hang on. I’m getting there.

All we need is just a little patience…..

I was talking to a RL friend (1 of the many 2) who I LOVE and we were talking about Thing 4. And how I have to make sure that no matter what I am always always up & at the very least, semi~coherent BEFORE he wakes up. Or Chaos will reign. & that is just *not the way I roll 😉

That made me remember when Thing 1 was like 2.

& he woke up first. And apparently… had a little time on his hands…before he came into our room all happy & excited. He made us breakfast. Just like daddy does. Cause he loves us so much. Ain’t that just the sweetest thing?

You can see where this is going can’t you? 2 yr old. Unsupervised. Kitchen.

Say it with me now… a recipe forrrrrrrrrrrr…… what? I can’t hear you.

OmGOODNESS let me just tell you what we walked into. A lovely breakfast buffet. Uncooked ‘scrambled eggs’ ~the good kind~shells & all~ beautifully arranged on the front doormat. 3 bowls sat ontop of the coffee table. Full of jello. And cheerios. And milk. Yummy. A nice contemporary look ….a walkway made of cheerios & grape jelly …led us into the kitchen.

Need I go on?

I find it oddly funny that the girls *Thing 2 & Thing 3, (Thing 5 is not old enough yet…thankfully;) who love love LOVE to be in the kitchen with me, have never experimented on thier own. And NOT because they are less adventurous. Trust me. I have had walls decorated with you~don’t~even~want~to~know~what that just toss that theory right out the window.

Maybe it’s a girl thing. Thou shall respect the kitchen. The kitchen shall become your friend. I really like the kitchen. Not so much, my kitchen. Just the kitchen in general, as a room.
I don’t know why. I can only cook good enough to not starve my family. That’s about it. OH but I make a *mean sausage gravy & biscuits. And pasta. And chicken. And porkchops. Okay, maybe I’m not as bad of a cook as I thought. I must have gotten a little better since the last time I checked. & That’s always a good thing.

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7 Comments:

Charity said…
Oh what fun memories. They are such a pain at the time…but such sweet things to remember. Noah is SO much more laid back then Anna…buuuuuuuuuuuttttt, I don’t know…they could probably run a tight race in making the biggest mess….remember…boogers on the wall…AAAAAnnnnnnnddd so on. Catch ya later girlie!
Charity

Rebecca said…
That is great. Seriously. I’d so rather have funny stuff like that to look back on then having the most perfectly well behaved child. We haven’t gotten the breakfast surprise yet but we have gotten plenty of surprises involving spreading diaper messes on walls, crib, blankets, toys, bathtub, etc. My mother in law told me that my husband and her brother once dumped everything ‘dumpable’ in the kitchen onto the floor. Wet, dry – all food that they could reach had been poured out.

tegdirb92 said…
this sounds a lot like what goes on in our house!! Sometimes I have good intentions of making a “teaching lesson” out of me cooking and having my kids watch but it always ends up in disaster!! We have 5 kids too and all of them would love the opportunity to paint the walls with anything lying around!! You’re such a breath of fresh air–knowing that I am not alone in this mommyhood “battle”of wills!

I raise my mostly empty and already spilled, cookie infested, plastic juice cup to you 🙂

Toni said…
No pictures? I want pictures. This is sooooo hilarious. Somewhere I have a picture of my 1 and 2yo’s covered in flour. No one’s ever attempted meals though. I also have a picture of the dandelions my dd picked for me when she was about 4yo. She put them in a dixie cup….’bout 9 dixie cups to be more specific. They were all over the bathroom sink.

Which reminds me, I did blog about the PBJ my 5yo attempted to make awhile back. The photos said it all (all the way down to the shattered jar of grape jello on my kitchen floor).
http://inthemidstofthisseason.blogspot.com/2007/02/im-not-much-of-long-term-planner.html
Yep, would love to see photos of your breakfast chef’s work. You did take them, yes? 😉
Blessings,
~Toni~

You can see it in her eyes said…
LMAOO !! I remember when Tristan did that ! haha … well i don’t remember myself … cause i was like … young ? Well . i was like … 9? idk but i remember you telling me about that ….or maybe i actually REMEMBER it … ok bear with me now ..

WHAT ABOUT BRUCE ALMIGHTY ??!?!!? it’s killing me . why would you start like that and then leave us hangingg !! uhhh !

Heather said…
lol @ charity’s boogers on the wall (only cause I’ve BEEN there!!!)

ooooooh Becca been there too ~ just wait till yours want to surprise you;)

tegdirb92 thank you! I love your blog! And to you I raise my glass…er plastic cup…of cheeto infested sweet tea which is also already been spilled & is half empty.

TOni I KNOW i know but that was like 7 yrs ago BEFORE I got digital. So I have a pic somewhere…

Brit I will call you & tell you about Bruce Almighty. lol. & it wouldn’t surprise me if you remember it 😉

Looney Mom said…
LOL! I would have freaked at that sight! What a lovely mess, but at least it was made with love. Too funny.

And I’m sure you’re a better cook than you think. There are so many easy recipes out there that you really have to TRY to screw up. 😉

just in case you were sitting there … wondering

  1. I’ve never been out of the south.
  2. I dream about living up north.
  3. And I’ve almost convinced myself that I want to.
  4. But I could never ~ actually ~ live ~ there.
  5. Because, come on!
  6. I live in Florida.
  7. And ~ trust me ~ Fla’s SO not *all that.
  8. But it would be really really cold up north in the winter.
  9. And well… I’m a total wimp.
  10. And under 72 degrees is just not the way I roll.
  11. Yes I said 72.
  12. Actually it’s more like 72.5
  13. But really.
  14. Did you want me to be all anal about it?
  15. That’s why I said 72.
  16. Do you think I could get *rich if I invented a little degrees icon button to go on your keyboard.
  17. It would be so much more efficient.
  18. Talk about being efficient.
  19. I just used 27 words.
  20. To say absolutely nothing.
  21. What is wrong with me???
  22. I Know.
  23. MAKE IT STOP.
  24. Do you know what I like about up north?
  25. They’ve got amish people there.
  26. And dude.
  27. Amish people just rock.
  28. As Brittany is obsessed with all things asian. And shiny.
  29. That is, Asian.
  30. And shiny.
  31. Not to be confused with asian & shiny.
  32. Or shiny asians.
  33. Although, that would be her 2 favorite things rolled into one.
  34. It would be much more efficient.
  35. Go back & read # 28 again.
  36. So I am fascinated by all things amish.
  37. If you’re wondering why I sent you to look up efficient,
  38. it’s not because I think you’re a loser who doesn’t know what efficient means.
  39. It’s because I had a brain freeze & looked it up.
  40. And still spelled it wrong.
  41. 3 times.
  42. It’s not my fault.
  43. Blame it on the childrens benadryl.
  44. I cannot hang.
  45. That stuff is kicking my bootay.
  46. If you followed the bootay link,
  47. please mentally bleep out any & all words or images that may offend you.
  48. And remember,
  49. I didn’t make up the definition.
  50. But it’s in the dictionary.
  51. And that makes it truthiness.
  52. Again, truthiness ~ not to be confused with the truth.
  53. I’m just doin my job.
  54. Or my self appointed *pretend job.
  55. Which means I better go to bed.
  56. Because it’s like, after 3 am.
  57. And my real job will be starting when the rooster crows.
  58. I mean that.
  59. Literally.
  60. Our neighbor actually owns a rooster.
  61. Who crows.
  62. Every morning.
  63. And wakes my children up.
  64. Every morning.
  65. Have mentioned that I can’t wait to move?
  66. He has no respect for the weekend.
  67. Or the fact that poor me is doped up on benadryl & still awake.
  68. Because the biggest Thing of them all isn’t here.
  69. And I just can’t sleep alone.
  70. No matter how much he annoys me.
  71. Or steals my pillows.
  72. Or snores …LOUDLY.
  73. It’s okay baby.
  74. I love you anyway.

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kim said…
I just found you by way of Kristie’s “Not Quite What I Had Planned” and, from this post, I can tell I’m going to have to go back and read the WHOLE thing.

I am from Minnesota. And we have Amish people here. Yes, it’s way cool. I’ve never been to Florida, but love San Diego. Humidity is not my friend :). Oh, and especially for Brittany we also have shiny Asians here. And also a few that aren’t shiny :)! And four seasons, too. THAT really rocks.

I can’t wait to read more…

Diane said…
OK So I’m still trying to figure out what the Amish have to do with shiny Asians ….
Diane

Rebecca said…
I know what you mean about not sleeping while hubby is away. Even though he doesn’t like to *snuggle* while sleeping it’s still hard for me to sleep while he’s gone. I’ll have to get over that before he leaves for 15 months or it will be scary for everyone left here. Everyone, other people out driving, anyone I have to come in contact with and my kids. I love your lists, though when they get posted the numbers don’t show up. And the rooster – that’s just classic. The only thing more annoying than a rooster in the morning is a peacock in the morning. Have you ever heard one of those? They sound like cats in pain or crying children – scary when you wake up at gramma’s house & have no idea what is going on outside.

Heather said…
I don’t know where my numbers go. They are there when I am posting, but disappear when I publish. There must be a number thief somewhere. Or a list hater. Or maybe the list hater IS the number thief.

Looney Mom said…
LOL! Uhmmm… maybe you need to lay off the benadryl chica! Benadryl knocks me out, but apparently it just does weird things to you?

Stupid roosters!

Rebecca said…
I think you are onto something there. I’ve heard that thieves who don’t like lists usually don’t like numbers either. I don’t know if that makes any sense but ya. Maybe its some number stealing list hating virus…

Heather said…
that’s gotta be it. indeezy. number steain list hatin virus… we’re onto you now.

littlemissy555 said…
Anytime you want to come North, you can crash here…I’ll even take you to see some Amish ;0)

FTN said…
The number trolls. They go around to blogs and steal numbers from lists.

I’d gladly trade some Amishness from around these parts for some 72° Florida livin’.

Did you see that? A degree symbol. Woohoo!

Heather said…
number trolls huh? I’ll be lookin out for those little thieves…

& WHERE did you find that degree symbol? Just so you know, I’m holding you personally responsible for my million~less future.

Heather said…
Diane ~ I have no clue how those 2 things are related. Chalk it up to the druggggs????

FTN said…
In html, you can make a degree symbol by typing the ampersand (&) followed by “deg;”.

Of course, if I try to type it out here to show you, it will just make a °

kim said…
Those must be some good drugggggs. And I thought I had a good life–HA! I was all excited about getting the instructions for the degree symbol but, of course, it hasn’t worked for me. Figures. HA!

Heather said…
<&”deg;”> I still need a button. KIM still needs a button. Atleast I know someone will buy my million $$$ invention 😉

tegdirb92 said…
If you lived amongst the Amish there would be MORE THAN ONE rooster crowing in the morning! Wow, there are roosters in FLA? 🙂 🙂

You can see it in her eyes said…
Omg . Heather … this is why i love you ! You crack me up . I feel special you added me … i do love shiny things … and asians …though some asians are shiny … so they are my favorite :]

Here i am again up late reading your blog cause i missed reading it a couple times … but i love you anyways :]

Mark Laymon said…
I grew up in Northern Minnesota, NEGATIVE 20 DEGREES, now does that sound like fun to you or what.

I like living in Palm Beach a little better.
Get well.
Mark

lyndonmaxewell said…
Nice! I just like the poem that you have just written. 😀

Heather said…
I’ll just leave that -20 to someone else thank you very much.

YES apparently there ARE roosters in Fla. Or atleast my neighbor thinks they belong here.

As a wise woman (not me either) once said “Stupid roosters!”

1. I am declaring today to be Truthiness Tuesday.
2. Truthiness really IS a word. I didn’t just make it up.
3. Encarta failed me. But YOU are SO important to me that I searched high and low across the internet to find it.
4. I found it.
5. In the Urban Dictionary.
6. Truthiness.
7. Not to be mistaken with the Truth.
8. See the difference?
9. I was watching the news this morning.
10. Okay the biggest Thing of them all was watching the weather and I just sorta *caught a story on the news this morning.
11. But it sounded much better the other way. SO,
12. I was watching the news this morning.
13. And they were talking about Tampa.
14. And the water department.
15. We use chlorine gas to clean our water.
16. Apparently, this is a tremendous risk for terrorism.
17. They are blowing up chlorine gas compounds in Iraq.
18. So they told them exactly where to find ours.
19. And approximately how many people they could kill should they choose to blow it up.
20. Good lookin out.
21. I really don’t care to watch the news.
22. The last time I watched it, there was a story on cooking healthy meals.
23. For your dog.
24. hubba wha?
25. Right after that, they showed a woman who just tossed a live baby out in the trash.
26. I’m not really *into the whole political thing.
27. So I won’t pretend to be all smart and knowledgeable.
28. Because I am just so..not.
29. But I will say this.
30. The reason we will never win this war is NOT because our president is a complete jack ass.
31. It’s because he’s a complete jack ass who thinks he’s fighting a political war.
32. Maybe, just maybe, some countries Do NOT want to be like America.
33. Some cultures are not about treating dogs like babies, and treating babies WORSE than dogs.
34. The man who had like 42 dogs he wasn’t taking care of was thrown in prison.
35. The woman who threw the baby in the dumpster was *hospitalized to ‘get the help she needs’.
36. Who wouldn’t want to be like us?

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Rebecca said…
Oh man, that gets me too. I’m not one who is pro abusing or neglecting animals but come on. The commercials that play sad music and have photos of pets in need of a home or bumper stickers with some rant about it. I’m thinkin ‘hello, what about all the poor little babies who are aborted everyday?’

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